In honor of the those two presidential hopefuls getting durrty slinging mud on the stump, the slow minds responsible for this piece of cyberspace thought long and hard on how to approach this latest chunk of “what’s happening” chatter. After arguing back and forth on what to do and where to go and how to get there – welcome “my friends” to the first ever (and most likely last) special Debate Edition of “Metromix Your Weekend.” As your trusted moderator you can expect for the answers to go long, probably not make much sense, and there will be plenty of winking (twitching, convulsing, drinking, hunting) etc. Don’t get your Fannie Mae in a bunch, the weekend "recovery" plan is now ready for delivery.

Friday, Oct. 10

Barack 'N' Bowl
The Issue: The Garden Bowl’s balls (ha, balls) are all shaped like McCain’s noggin and Democratic supporters will be tossing them down the lanes with strikes in mind… Well, sort of -- umm, no. That was an un-truth; I did not have sexual affairs with that “person.”…Not really sure about the McCain bowling balls (nor the sex part), but you betcha there will be some beer drankin’, cigarette smoking and a ton of change you can believe in action. The games begin at 7 p.m. and the bands, including JSB Squad, the Smashed Windows, Pewter Club, Rogue Satellites and Scarlet Oaks,  Barack it out at 9 p.m.
Public opinion: Do it! Of course. Last week Jay-Z helped register Detroit voters at Cobo and this week Obama supporters do the indie rock thang at the Garden Bowl…This is a non-partisan column, but the only Friday night event McCain peoples have in the marvelous Mitten is the Lawrence Welk DVD marathon at the Grand Rapids Elks Lodge.
Spin it: Don’t end up in the gutter, wax your bowling balls here.

From Russia With Lust
The Issue: In a 21^st century world, diplomacy must be job one when hanging out with evil-doing night-crawling party people who might drink vodka or dance to electronic beats while sporting red garments of clothing...Suspects this fine night include DJ Jenny La Femme (Happy Birthday!!) and all the way from Mother Russia via Moscow is DJ Grad. The white flag of surrender will be raised as people from all backgrounds from all over the world will dance the night away in the beautiful nightclub garden of Eden.
Public Opinion: John McCain looked square in the eye that Putin character and says he saw three letters: K-G-B. Ooooh, scurry. This amoral scribe looked into the D-Scene article by the independent Ese Esan and concluded three words about the From Russia With Lust party: F-U-N.
Passport granted: Don’t miss the international beat-down here.

T-Baby at the Crofoot
The Issue: Detroit rapper T-Baby puts together a no-budget hip-hop track and video and hundreds of thousands of viewers across the United States of America watch in awe (among other words). “It’s Cold in the D” might just be the hottest hip-hop song form the streets all year (well, I do support the Elzhi camp, the Black Milk candidate and I still bang the ish out of Quest, etc) … Regardless, T-Baby’s independent effort has swayed both the left and right wings with her sort of off-beat head bobbin ways and the grass roots campaign masterfully done via the Internets (invented by Al Gore, of course). Her first live performance should have a distinctly Sarah Palin curiosity quality.
Public Opinion: T-Baby can see Canada from the D. You betcha.
Getting warmer: Support the hip-hop troops here.

Saturday, Oct. 11

Elysium 4-year Anniversary Party
The issue: If it’s experience you’re seeking, what better nightclub will you find in the heart of the city than Elysium? Celebrating four years of after-dark dance-floor delight, the first-term of office was nothing short of productive and this is the big bash that will usher in the next four. Sonic delights will be provided by the cabinet of Matt A, Roc Boy and DJ Flexxx and there’s enough hosts lined up to make sure every talking point will indeed be delivered masterfully.
Public Opinion: Personally, the view from the top of Elysium is stellar in Detroit club-land history. Forget that whole change thing, or the change you can believe in thing or that change in your pocket thing…Change not necessary, experience will get us to the eight-year anniversary.
Second term agenda: Stay the course; drink, dance and be merry here-y.

Under the Big Top
The issue: Fund-raising is always a great way to mobilize the forces, and the Scarab Club’s annual costume ball is one of those events that requires support from all walks of life. The big show starts up at 8 p.m. and artistically inclined performances by Satori Circus, the Gepetto Files (puppets!), and spinner action from DJs JKenobi and Da3Dalus will keep spirits flying high all night long. Two options are presented for entrance: For $25 keg beer flows til 2 a.m. and appetizers will be yours or you could step up to the $50 ticket which will get you full access to the open bar…Mmm, Captain Morgan!
Public Opinion: The historic Scarab Club’s costume ball is a blast. Not to be missed.
Paint your face: Bring your Insane Clown Posse here… Violent J is always welcome. My painted man! Let's (Fay)go!

Sunday, Oct. 12

Naughty Nurse Party
The Issue: Devilish dolls are competing for more than $1,000 in cash and prizes at the Pontiac party palace of Tonic on this sinfully sweet Sunday. Women dressed in their nurse’s outfits are granted free access before 10:30 p.m. and arriving early earns you the budget bail-out of $1 drinks (from 9-10 p.m.).  
Public opinion: Did you hear that Holly Madison left Hugh Hefner and he replaced her with two 20-year-old twins? Yeah, this doesn’t have much to do with Naughty Nurses, but the Metromix office just can’t seem to get over this headline…Anyhow, health care – America needs it. And Naughty Nurses will certainly raise, umm, something. This is a Sunday night plan both Obama and McCain should support. Fully. Watch those earmarks though, suckas.
Operation Sunday Funday: Let’s play doctor here.

Holla at the Metromix Hammer: bjhammerstein@metromix.com

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